Funemployed/Cirque Eloize Video #4: CONTORTIONIST RIDES THE SUBWAY

FUNEMPLOYED Season 6 Finale: Nuts to the Guts

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Funemployed Season 2 Episode 5: Dopplegangs

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Funemployed/Cirque Eloize video #3: BUILDING DREAMS

edited by Kristin Gerhart :)



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Funemployed/Cirque Eloize video #2: HOW NOT TO HIT ON A UKRANIAN ACROBAT

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Funemployed/Cirque Eloize video #1: THE COMMUTE

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BABY PROFILE PICTURES ARE CONFUSING

BABY PROFILE PICS ARE CONFUSING


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uryo0s0yasI

Watch the newest short featuring the newest star of Funemployed, Little Leon Lando!

If you like this video, repost it, and change your profile picture to YOU as a baby to confuse everyone.

And check out the NEW Funemployed tshirt store - http://www.funemployedchicago.spreadshirt.com

-- Ted

FUNEMPLOYED: Season 2, Episode 4: Mashed Potatoes

THE MOST ACTION PACKED EPISODE OF FUNEMPLOYED EVER.  There's a shootout.  Boom.




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Funemployed Season 2 Episode 3 Bloopers!

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P90X Day 90!!!

I MADE IT!!! 90 days of working out are now over.  In conclusion, I didn't get a six pack.  But I am in the best shape I've ever been in, and I plan to start doing yoga at Core Power Yoga here in Chicago, and for sure running along the lake once it gets warm.  I'm loaning P90X to my buddy Jon Plous, but I may try picking up Insanity if I get bored.  Here's the photos, and the promise that I will never blog about working out again.

P90X Day 1

P90X Day 90

Funemployed Season 2 Episode 3: The Return of Bill

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CHARLIE SHEEN IS A HELL OF A DRUG

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The Return of Bill EPIC TRAILER

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P90X Day 1 vs. 60 (photos)

Just got back from Mardi Gras, where despite the level of partying involved, I got up at 6 every morning to do P90X in a hotel gym.  (the one in Memphis was very small and smelled funny, and while I was doing the "Happy Baby" move where I'm basically grabbing my ankles and spreading em, some local Mephisinian dude walked in and started working out on a squeaky workout bike.  This guy was COUNTRY, and the room was like the size of a closet.)  Anyway, I was officially 2/3 of the way through P90X two days ago, here's the photos.  Just one more month to go!

P90X Day 1

 

P90X Day 60

BLACK SWAN, MOTHAF*CKA

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P90X Day 41.

Today Funemployed blew up and was featured on the G4 Channel's "Attack of the Show".  Before this happened, I did X Stretch.


Here's the clip of us on the show.  Check out the hot girl host.  She totally claps to the video.  AWESOME


http://www.g4tv.com/videos/51331/Around-the-Net-021711/

ARCADE FIRE HIPSTER ATTACK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeHV3tyNQ60

Funemployed Season 2 Episode 2!! "Ball Traps"

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Funemployed Bloopers!

If it doesn't show up fully in the page just go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcF_Da9ax5A

Why Does This Exist? Volume 1: Pigeons

Ok seriously, why do pigeons exist?  I don't see that they serve any function other than shitting on everything and being assholes.

These head bobbing cooers have had their way for far too long.  And I know what you're thinking.  But Ted, they're cute! They're not really harming anyone.  Oh yeah?  Are you this lady???:

That's what you get for loving pigeons:  being covered in pigeon shit.  And a budgeted amount of money for seed or bread.  I get the draw, it's a novelty.  'Ooohh!! Let's feed the birds!'  But only one or two days out of a year am I ever struck with "hey I should totally feed this pigeon" EVER.  And that is rare.  Because pigeons suck.  Pigeons are like rats with wings.  They aren't glamorous like eagles or functional like pelicans, they just suck.  They sit around on train platforms, they shit on everything, and wait before the last possible second that you're walking by to fly at your face.  Some of these idiots don't even get the clue to fly south for the winter, and then you have a bunch of asshole pigeons burrowing their heads in their shoulders taking up room underneath the heat lamps on the train platform.  MOVE PIGEON! I'M COLD!

The only good thing a pigeon has ever done was shit directly on my friend from SCAD Bailey Poteat's head on two separate occasions right outside of the Chevron gas station which was totally hilarious  because the second time it was like deja vu.

But otherwise these damned birds are totally useless and I am confused about their existance.

I mean, what is with the high intensity flapping only directly at my face causing me to spaz out in the middle of the downtown Loop area and screaming "PIGEON!!!" really loud while curling up into a ball on the sidewalk and then I look like an IDIOT.   Ok, I'm scared of pigeons.

But really some of these pigeons are scary.  Like how do you know a nice pigeon from an asshole pigeon?  The one with the eye patch and the peg leg?  A lot of these birds have lost legs because everywhere on the train platforms there's spikes along the edges so that pigeons won't shit all over everything.  But is this a rebel thing?  Like you do NOT want to fuck with that one legged pigeon.  He has half a wing and one leg and it is bionic.  With a laser eye.  But seriously sometimes these piegons give me eyes like they want to kill me.  And it's not cool.
To sum things up, I hate pigeons, and I would be fine if they all flew south.  And then died.