If you're an actor in the Chicago theatre scene, you've done this. And you probably do it on a regular basis.
Actorspeak: When two actors have a conversation that exists entirely about what shows they are currently doing. Example: "Hey man! How's it going?" "Great! I'm working on blah blah at blah blah theatre company, we start shows in a few weeks." "Awesome! I just got called in for blah blah and I've got auditions lined up at blah blah and I have a callback on Friday." "Oh man! How'd you get to audition for that?" "Well I was in blah blah and this person saw me and called me in." "Oh that's great! Good for you. Well I gotta go, see ya later!"
It's not necessarily a bad thing. This is how friends keep up with each other. This is like two businessmen discussing what accounts they're currently working on. Because that's what we all do, talk about what we're doing at the moment.
But actorspeak can also be ANNOYING.
Primarily because when it happens, it's not always just about what's going on currently. It's like this bizarro competition. And this occurs because of the nature of what we do. It's isolating and communal at the same time. We all are friends with other actors. We all want to be successful, and we basically want everyone else we know and love to be successful too. But the only way that this competition doesn't exist is when both actors are doing equally well. By which I mean they're doing a play they love, or are getting paid actual money to act, or are working for a reputable theatre company, etc. etc.
In Chicago, a lot of theatre companies cannot afford to pay their actors. It's this storefront theatre community that makes Chicago what it is, but it is also rough to rehearse 5 days a week for 4+ hours a day for several months for a show that will run for a month or more and get paid fifty dollars or less. Don't get me wrong, the best theatre I've done hasn't paid, and I have been very fortunate to do some great work and work with some amazing people, and I fully plan to continue to do so. Chicago is home to some of the best original plays and everyone here works because they love it and want to produce the best art they can. It's what makes it great to be here.
But you gotta pay that rent.
So we get day jobs we don't want, looking at gchat and facebook and hoping we can get a boss who is cool with us leaving for auditions from time to time, we take out credit cards, we lean on our parents, or we adjust our lives so that we can get by on less.
However there are several large theatres that can afford to pay their actors, and pay them enough to at least get by on. They are Equity houses, and put up plays that a lot of us want to be in because of this fact. But the odds that you can get cast there are often slim, and they are seemingly very tricky in how they go about casting. Sometimes you just have to know someone who puts in a good word for you, or you get called in because someone saw you in something else, or you might be one of those lucky few who go to one of their large cattle call auditions and get cast (often only equity members can make appointments so nonequity actors will wait for hours to MAYBE audition). Also, a lot of these theatres only rehearse during the day! With eventual performances at night! So if you did have a part time job and you do get cast at one of these places, it's a predicament. But of course any one of us would drop everything to work at one of these places, and that's a great idea because all of us - ALL OF US - just want to be acting and doing only that to get by. But what about when that show ends? Well hopefully you've impressed enough people to get cast again in something else that pays. But that isn't always the case. It's not something you can depend on. Because that's how we live. Constantly changing, constantly grouping and ungrouping, making new friends, leaving old friends behind, the whole thing is beautiful and horrible and magical and inspiring and trite and problematic at the same time. It's why we do it. Because theatre is unlike anything else. And it's for the love of it that we take on these potentially chaotic lifestyles.
And it's all of these factors combined into a big mixing pot of actors working in paid and unpaid and wonderful and mediocre theatre that causes this almost vulture-like spirit of competition when we get together and talk, often while auditioning. Listen next time you are in a room full of actors waiting to audition, and don't focus on any one conversation in particular, just feel the ebb and flow of the conversations happening. Listen for key words like "equity", "headshots", "agent", "callback", "called in", and "show" among others, and wait for the moment when everyone in the room has told the other person what shows they are currently working on and vice versa, and the room suddenly goes silent. This is actorspeak. Now stay in that room for the next four to six hours, while these conversations repeat over and over again. You now know what it is like to be at a cattlecall audition. It's annoying.
I'm not saying I don't do this. I do it. All the time. I don't mean to! I'm curious as to what other people are working on. But it's the moment when the other person is working on something better than you are that this fiery sense of competition flares up. How did you get that? How could you have possibly gotten that audition call and I didn't? Who do you know? Is often what is going through our minds when we are out of work speaking to someone who is getting paid to act. And this isn't a normal or logical jealousy. We see each other as peers, so thus we should all be getting similar attention and similar offers. But that's just not going to happen. This kindof jealousy transcends talent, sex, and race. "I can't believe you got a callback and I didn't!" "It was an all female cast! WTF??"
And what if you are working in theatre and you are talking to someone who isn't currently working? You aren't rubbing it in their faces, you worked hard or made the right connections, and you're obviously talented enough to be working where you are and deserve it. But sometimes telling someone all the great things that you're doing comes across as gloating. But why should it?? WHY?
It's because we all want something so bad that we've centered our lives around it, we all have a fiery passion and desire to make this our LIFE, and there frankly just isn't enough room for everyone, and it sucks.
So we start thinking of other things we can do. Maybe I'll go to LA, or New York (where it isn't any better than this, at least here we can do theatre and continue working despite no pay and hope that eventually our careers snowball into continual work). I'll take up a series of training courses and things to improve my craft and make connections (which is one of the best things we can do). Maybe I'll go to grad school (which we should really do if we want to teach. As an actress once told me when I mentioned my idea to apply at one of the Chicago theatre schools: "I think there's a lot of cheaper ways to get cast." Not that there's anything wrong with grad school). But what we as actors need to do is love the work we do, and realize that we're maybe not always going to get paid for every show we do, while never letting up on the pursuit of continual and eventual longevity in this field.
I will always continue to be an actor, whether in Chicago or not. Every city presents a different set of obstacles and frustrations and problems for the aspiring actor. But as long as we can continue to grow and learn and create new and brilliant work, I think it is worth it, whatever we do. And I will from here work on squelching my jealousy, because I do want to be happy for everyone and myself, no matter what we do.
Also, I am currently working on a sketch show called "Full Body Scam" which will be at Donny's Skybox at Second City Fridays in January-February, and I start rehearsals for a show in March with Filament Theatre Ensemble for Sarah Ruhl's "Eurydice", and Funemployed Season 2 is coming out, and I'm going on a lot of voiceover auditions, so you know, I'm doing pretty good.
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