Paul Bettany, you are NOT a badass.

Paul Bettany, we need to have a talk.  First off, you already eternally pissed me off by getting married to the girl of my dreams (Jennifer Connelly, although that was a few years ago, now she's kindof wiry and smarmy as hell), so that's 1 right off the bat.  But I put up with it because I enjoyed you in such roles like the invisible sidekick in A Beautiful Mind, or the naked sidekick in A Knight's Tale:



But Paul Bettany, for the sake of everything that is holy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP!!! WHAT YOU ARE DOING.  If you don't know, his last two movies have been these pseudo religious/action movies.  One where he plays a descended archangel come to Earth to protect an apparently important group of people at a random gas station from an onslaught of evil ass angels who have been sent by God to attack them.  It's called Legion, and it BLOWS.



His latest failed attempt at being a badass is called Priest, and it pretty much looks like Legion Part 2.  Which means I can only assume it will suck an equal to proportionate if not heavier load of donkey balls.



It's almost like someone said to him, "Paul Bettany, if you're going to keep carrying on like you have with Jennifer Connelly, the dream girl of Ted Evans and millions everywhere, you're going to have to earn your keep and be way more of a badass.  And no, starring alongside Kirsten Dunst in 'Wimbledon" doesn't count."

Paul Bettany, I'm here to tell you to put down the pseudo religious action movie scripts, go back to being witty and British, hand over the Jennifer Connelly, and walk away.  And Jennifer Connelly, please revert back to your Rocketeer body.  That is all.